Rent Wars
Glossary

Amish - Meaning "of the Amish school of Legal Understanding"; honest; having respect for law and precedent. In the context of Rent Wars, Amish does not refer to the Pennsylvania Dutch. Rather it refers to the followers of Master Am who believes with great conviction that the Law is a good thing that transcends the whims of any Judge or Judges.

Amish Lightning - A manifestation of the great powers of FRCP such as Raze Judo-Kata.

Aunt Celery Jurisdiction - Federal jurisdiction based on the interrelationship between a federal cause of action and a state cause of action. Named after the aunt of a judge who hit him over the head with a stalk of celery and said, "Quit making excuses and decide this case!"

Bar - This well named institution is designed to keep minority and indigent clients from receiving justice from the Law. Via a concerted effort to prevent minorities and the poor from practicing Law, and a successful effort to keep the few that can practice Law economically unable to represent their own people, and a successful effort to disbar (remove the right to practice Law) minorities, the Bar is a Bar to minorities and the indigent. The Bar is a Bar to the Bar(th) power to indigent minorities. Racism is one of its deepest most cherished principles. But racism is banned by Bulshido. The Bar is supposed to enforce Bulshido with the help of the Judges. In the Housing Court, the Shysters openly solicit business in the Court, hold Shyster fee auctions in the hallways, and commit perjury with a wink to the Judge. All of these things are banned by Bulshido, yet the Bar, only a few doors from the Courthouse, can't seem to manage even a fake attempt at enforcement. Lest this appear only a problem of Shysters and Sewage Courts, the Second Circuit has itself allowed an attorney to lie openly to 6 Circuit Judges, be warned by the Circuit Panel not to lie, admit to the lying under oath, and be rewarded for the lying by the District Judge directly affiliated with that attorney, without so much as a raised eyebrow. If an Amish Court is this incapable of enforcing Bulshido, imagine what transpires in the Corrupt Courts. The Bar is dedicated to defending and encouraging Shysters. The Bar is proof positive that a profession can not police itself.

Barracudi - A lawyer of great skill dedicated to Code of Bulshido. The word origin is in dispute with vigorous proponents for each of the following: Barrister Magi, Barrister Jedi, Barracuda Jedi, and Barrister Samurai.

Board, The - Once filed in Court, a case is represented by a stylized board of unique shape, size, and composition. Each Square of the Board represents a finite step in the path to Judgment. The Pieces of the Board are the claims and defenses of the various parties.

Bulshido - The Code of the Barracudi. This Code is the promise by which Barracudi live. It is completely opposed to the Three Rys, it demands loyalty to ones clients, dedication and justice for all. The Amish believe that the term Bulshido originates from bull (charging bravely into battle for ones clients), chi (as in chivalry or chi (breath- inner strength through concentration)), do (the way of), combined with Bushido (the way of the Samurai - honor). The CLS Heretics claim that the word origin is Bullshht (as in the male bovine defecation) mixed with do (the way of) and point to the Bar's complete failure to police itself as confirmation.

Clatoral Estoppel - A lesser version of Raze Judo-Kata used to occupy a Square or terminate an opponent's piece. Confused lawyers associate this with noisey clatter. This is of course untrue. The term merely refers to co-ladder (of the same ladder) estop (stop it) and simply means "we fought this out in another court and I won." (a corruption of the French words)

CLS - Critical Legal Studies. A Dark Art that lures unsuspecting Barracudi into believing that Court decisions are based on crass mundane factors or bribery, rather than the merits of cases, the skills of the lawyers, or the applicability of precedent. Although not meant to be evil, it is a Dark Art because it erodes the fundamental credos upon which the Barracudi Code is based. If used correctly it can allow a Barracudi to identify and address the extralegal factors that influence the case. Unfortunately it tends to drive Barracudi insane with despair and cynicism. The Good, once exposed, often leave Law to become drifters, or otherwise ruin their legal talents. The Bad, once exposed, usually see it as obvious and curse it publicly hoping no one will understand how useful CLS is for detecting the secret Dark Arts. The Unsanitary don't know what CLS is.

CPLR - The Convoluted Proprietary Litigation Racket. This is the New York State analog of the FRCP. It's a total mess whose purpose is to maintain the monopoly of the Bar by disenfranchising Pro Se litigants through procedural trickery.

Dark Barracudi - Barracudi that have turned to the Dark Arts. Most of these are powerful Barracudi that become jaded as they are continuously exposed to corruption (usually in a Circuit Court of Corruption or similar jurisdiction). Some are High Barracudi of immense power who have made an Impact in the Law who become corrupted by the power itself and begin to thirst for power. A small but growing faction are bad seed, born evil, but too intelligent and ambitious to become Shysters. A Dark Barracudi is far more dangerous than even a Shyster Meister because they are difficult to detect. They also understand Bulshido and how it limits the Barracudi, while they themselves are free of its bounds.

Decided - A formal ruling by a judge.

Evil Court, The - The U.S. Supreme Court when 5 or more Justice's are in Satan's thrall.

FRCP - The Federal Rules of Civil Procedure.

Good Court, The - The U.S. Supreme Court when 5 or more Justices truly and sincerely are committed to the cause of Justice.

ICE - Informal Consistent Equity. Similar to Shadowlaw in form, but unlike Shadowlaw it is consistent with the Open Precedents and not corrupt.

Insight - The ability to use a Coin to gain Third Sight.

Judgment - The final outcome of a case.

Knowledge - The ability to use the Tomes of Knowledge to understand and use the Precedent.

Open Precedent - The official Precedent of a Court of Law.

Precedent - That which has been Decided previously.

Pendant Jurisdiction - The Federal Courts have jurisdiction over certain State Pieces when miniatures copies are worn as pendants around the necks of the Federal Pieces. Once all the Federal Pieces are destroyed the pendants fall to the ground and break, shattering the State Pieces.

Pre-Or Adjudication - Preordained adjudication. See Raze Judo-Kata and Clatoral Estoppel.

Pro Se Bias - The first level of corruption. To discriminate against a party because they lack a lawyer is to discriminate based upon class. Once a Judge discriminates on one plane, the next becomes easier. If you discriminate against someone without a lawyer, why not discriminate against someone without an expensive lawyer? Where does it end? Where is the line drawn? Once a Judge shows the capability of class-based discrimination, he is showing the ability to be influenced by money, power, and status, which is taboo under Bulshido. Only the merits and arguments should matter.

Pro Se - To represent oneself in Court. There are many sayings meant to discourage this growing practice such as, "A person who represents himself has a fool for a client." Ronin counters this with, "A client who has a fool for a lawyer is twice the fool." and "A person who cannot afford a competent lawyer who gives up important rights because he is afraid of appearing foolish, is..."

Raze Judo-Kata - See Amish lightning. When conditions are right this form issues powerful magic bolts that cause an honest Court to self-destruct the Board in a case. It is a form of Pre-Or Adjudication. Often misspelled in legal pig Latin as Res Judicata.

RPAPL - Rap-Pa-Pap-El. The Really Perverse Abomination of Procedural Law.

S.A.D. - The Shyster's Affirmative Defense. This disgraceful affirmative defense was developed by the Shyster Judge to protect Kess-Lorr from liability for lying before no less than 9 federal judges. To it's disgrace the Second Circuit affirmed S.A.D. in Shadowlaw.

Second - A Second is the person who helps prepare, or prepares, all of the Litigator's weapons and armor for a particular case. Some Seconds attend battle and assist directly in Court. Some Seconds are extremely powerful attorneys in their own right, like Sorceress, others are non-lawyers. In the Towers all of the Seconds are attorneys, and each Master Barracudi has several Seconds for each battle. When the Second is an attorney, the Second can become the Litigator when needed.

Sewage Court - Housing Court. A division of the Civil Court.

Shadowlaw - Corrupt expressions of Law that are only followed when a Court feels that no one is watching them. The hidden precedents of a Court that directly conflict with their published precedents and rules. For example, in the Second Circuit the ethical rules and Court rules strongly discourage lying in the Courts. The Open Precedents clearly require the Court to protect a Pro Se from a lawyer who is lying in Court. The Shadowlaw in the Second Circuit is that a Shyster openly lying and who is proven to have lied before the Circuit will be given immunity from his lying when the victim of the lies are Pro Se (S.A.D.). The Shadowlaw directly contradicts the Open Precedent. Shadowlaw erodes the legimacy of any Court that dabbles in it.

Shyster - A foul smelling sewage-based lawyer dedicated to dishonesty and corruption who is typically incompetent. It is common for Shysters to congregate in areas of Law where many people are pro se or impoverished. Most Shysters lack Insight or Knowledge. They follow the code of the Three Rys (see below). Literal meaning: Shht.

Shyster Meister - Master Shyster. A Shyster Meister is made of fouler sewage than the average Shyster and smells like it. The Shyster Meisters incorporate sewage-based magic to approximate the magics of the Barracudi. These creatures often work in groups,or Rings.

Shyster Ring - A grouping of Shysters, lead by Shyster Meisters, dedicated to racketeering that is cloaked in the trappings of a legitimate business.

Sliss- Phonetic of CLS. See CLS above.

Square - When two or more opposing pieces meet on a Square the winner of the Square is determined by Legal Combat refereed by a Judge.

Supreme Court - The U.S. Supreme Court when neither Satan nor Justice have a majority. See Good Court and Evil Court.

Towers - The Towers are massive armies of Barracudi that war against each other in the highest planes of the Law. Where a Firm might have 10 attorneys, a large Tower can field over 1000 of the finest Barracudi.

Three Rys - The code of the Three Rys is the core principle of the Shysters. The Three Rys are: Perjury, Forgery, and Bribery. Once a Shyster has mastered all Three Rys he may become a Shyster Meister if he is powerful. The average Shyster is competent (if barely) in only one of the Three Rys.

Usurper Court, The - The CLS name for the Evil Court that decided an election by ignoring the votes and contradicting all of their prior precedent, to appoint their candidate to office. It culminates the most egregious powergrab by the Court in its history which began when it declared the separation of powers null by taking away the President's right to privacy with his bodyguards. The usurpation of the election by the Court was the only logical path to the corrupt logic of destroying the separation of powers. Although cynical to the ear, the CLS Heretics truly love the Usurper Court because it proves that Law is an arbitrary farce. In the face of this blatant Usurpation many Barracudi have lost faith in the Law and are taking a Dark path. Even the most fervent Amish admit that the Usurpation was unprecedented and unlawful, but they feel that the Evil Court was penetrated by Heretic or Dark Barracudi Justices eager to damage the Law. These Amish feel that the five Justices will be exposed in the eyes of history as Frauds not Justices, and that the Law will return to Justice once they are flushed out of the Court.

WLOD- Win, Lose or Draw. This is a classification of judicial officers who are so imbued with integrity that Sliss analysis is ineffective when applied to them. Judges who are so fair that Ronin accepts their wisdom as guiding. These judges are generally not appealed. However, if the judge relied on a precedent that was itself inadequate or unfair, that precedent may be attacked on appeal if the issues are important.

 

 

Check the glossary periodically for new additions.

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