| Dave (Dave) | Saturday, August 28, 2004 - 01:53 am
Alarmed at Aggressive Foreign Policy. Cite lack of concern for family values, sound finances, and the environment
Long touted as the symbol of the Grand Old Party, Elephants announced today they had “had enough” and they would no longer represent the GOP in its campaign literature.
In a surprise press conference today, the Leader of the Elephant World, President Pachyderm, shared the decision of his species.
The Elephant leader said the party has changed from Lincoln’s Republican Party of emancipation to Bush’s Republican Party of exploitation. “The party no longer represents the family values and conservative principles elephants cherish”, said Pachyderm. “We elephants take care of our children, but Republicans leave them behind” he added.
Pachyderm’s attorney, Elia Fant, pointed out that President Bush has vastly under-funded education and even failed to fund 30% of his own ‘No Child Left Behind’ legislation, thereby condemning thousands of children to a substandard education.
“An elephant never forgets,” President Pachyderm says. Elephants remember that President Bush spoke of showing humility in international affairs. “Elephants have big feet, but we don’t trample on our allies.” Attorney Fant explained that while our homeland security forces are stretched thin, National Guard and Reserve troops are fighting in Iraq.
The Clear Skies Act and the Healthy Forest Initiative were also criticized by President Pachyderm. “Elephants live with nature, they don’t destroy it,” the elephant president said. “Republicans call their program to weaken the protection of the Clean Air Act by the name “Clear Skies,” but it allows more pollution. Likewise, the Republicans call their effort to allow clear cutting of forests a “healthy forest” initiative. Forests are very important to elephants, and we know the difference.”
“The Republicans started an unjust war, are destroying public education and are polluting the air and water,” President Pachyderm said. “That is not what we stand for.”
Press Conference Times
Monday, August 30, 2004, 830AM – Tiffany’s, 57th St. & 5th Ave.,
Plaza Hotel – 59th & 5th Ave and Columbus Circle – 59th St. & Central Park West
Wednesday, September 1, 2004, 700PM – Bryant Park – 42nd St. & 6th Ave.
Other Noteworthy Actions
Tuesday, August 31, 2004, 9AM & 730PM – Tavern on the Green, Central Park W. at 66th St.
Wednesday, September 1, 2004, 1PM – Central Park Boathouse, Central Park at 75th St. & 5th |